Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
