hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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