My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
