You really coming over, don't trick.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
