He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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