3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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