Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
