for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
