So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You took a bar mat shot.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
