Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
