At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
