remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
