piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize