I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
