Its about making memories worth repressing
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
