call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
