saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
