I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
