I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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