Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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