well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
