Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
