you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
