You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
