If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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