I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
