I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
