Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
