why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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