:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
