he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
