i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
