Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
