he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
