Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
