physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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