listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
