lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
