She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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