I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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