Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
