She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
