well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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