Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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