perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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