Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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