Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
