I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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