so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
