How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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