pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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