we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
