So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
