I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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