Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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