I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
