Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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