They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize