Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
