STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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