Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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