My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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