these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
