He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
