adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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