His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
