i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
