You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
